Skippyland Elementary

Six Things About Me You Wanted to Know

2009-01-25T16:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks Spartacus!!

I need to tell all you people six random things about me. First, the rules. I must link to the person who tagged me, post the rules on my blog, write six random things about myself, and tag six people. Well, I did link back to Spartacus, write six things and post the rules.

So, Here goes nothing.

1. When I was little my brother used to call me flippy because I was always doing cartwheels. He also used to say that I was so skinny that if I stood sideways and stuck out my tongue I looked like a zipper (that is not the case anymore).

2. When Spartacus and I got married one of my good friends (who was very drunk) tried to make out with him at our wedding reception. Another friend of ours brought a gay male friend as a guest who happened to have a crush on Spartacus.

3. My guilty pleasures are watching Survivor and The Amazing Race.

4. I do not like to drink any liquor. I am strictly a beer drinker.

5. One of my favorite things to eat is cheese. I like pretty much every kind of cheese and like nothing better than cheese and crackers. Wow, I am getting hungry now just thinking about it.

6. Once the weather gets warm enough, I will ditch all my shoes and wear only flip-flops. I absolutely love flip-flops. I have a flip-flop fetish. I own way too many pairs.

Mother Goose

2009-01-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

I'm always the first to hear the complaints.

Goose me if you've heard this one.......I doubt it!!

A mom calls and tells me how much her son loves recess. It seems that the recess aides have been playing organized games with the kindergarten kids. She tells me how much her son loves to play the games, and his absolute favorite is Duck, Duck, Goose.

"Wow, I'm glad your son is having so much fun." I reply.

"Well", says Mom, "I do have an issue with this."

Of course she does. Otherwise I wouldn't be speaking with her!

Mom says," My concern is that the children are outside for 20 minutes of recess. What if my son spends his whole recess sitting in the circle waiting to get goosed and it never happens? Everyone should get goosed equally. I need to be sure my son is going to get goosed."

Because, every good mother worries about how often their kids get goosed.

.....You can't make this stuff up.

Meet-A Miss Filly

2008-12-21T13:11:00.000-08:00

Here at Skippyland Elementary we have the best security. Our "security " desk is manned by an 82-year old woman who weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet. Her name is Miss Filly and she came to Skippyland direct from Italy.

Filly is the most beloved person here at our school. She has been working here for 26 years. A few of the teachers in our school know Miss Filly from the time they were students in our school.

Like I said, Miss Filly is from Italy. And even though she's been here for 51 years, her Italian accent is as heavy as the day she stepped foot in this country.

Here are a few Filly-isms and what they mean:

Ah leen can you a fixa the hink in da machine
Eileen, the copier needs new ink.

Can you calla the plum to fix my lick
Can you call the plumber to fix my leak

feela bad
feel better ( this is what she tells the children when they go home sick)

She looks lika hook
she looks like a hooker

Mrs. Garlic
Mrs. Gallagher (a teacher)

Da Teach
The Teacher

If there's a phrase you would like the "Filly" translation for, leave it in comments. It will take me two weeks to get them from her, since we are on Winter vacation the next two weeks.

You can't make this stuff up!

No Carpet Here!

2008-12-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

You'd be surprised what you hear in an elementary school when the kids are not around.

An extremely attractive teacher came into the office and was chatting with the other secretary, Mr. Principal, and myself. She was explaining that she was thinking of changing her hair color from blond to red.

I said to her jokingly, "Just remember that when you dye your hair, the carpet should always match the curtains."

(Something Spartacus always says to me!)

But then, Pretty Blond teacher replied in a very serious tone of voice, "Well, not everyone has carpeting. Some of us have barewood floors."

My jaw hit the floor as Pretty Blond Teacher walked out of the office. I turned and looked at the stunned expressions on Mr. Principal's and Ms. Other Secretary's faces and said. "You know, there really is such a thing as TO MUCH INFORMATION!"

You can't make this stuff up!

Leave the kid, take the Math Book

2008-12-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

A kindergarten teacher in our school has to deal with 28 five year- old kids and 28 kindergarten moms. One particular boy kept bringing his math book to school every day. The teacher explained to the mother on several occasions that the math book only needed to be sent to school on Fridays. Still the boy's mother sent the math book every day. Exasperated, the teacher put a post-it note on the book that said "Only send this in on Friday. Thank you for your cooperation."

One Thursday morning, I received a phone call from the little boy's mother. She said that her son was so upset that Ms. S only wanted him to go to school on Fridays. He really loved school and still wanted to go every day. Was it okay to send him today even though it was not a Friday? As I tried not to laugh into the telephone, I calmly explained that Ms. S requested that her son bring his math book on Fridays only but her son was expected to attend class everyday.

She thanked me for clarifying the situation and said she was relieved because she would have had a hard time explaining to her two older children why Kindergarten boy only had to go one day a week and they had to go every day.

You can't make this stuff up!